Finally, the truth is calculated and cannot be disputed.
Beer is always wet. Poon-Tang needs encouragement. Winner: Beer
Beer tastes horrible served hot. Poon-Tang tastes better served hot. Winner: Poon-Tang
Having an ice cold Beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold Poon-Tang makes you Hillary Clinton. Winner: Beer
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Poon-Tang does not. Winner: None
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming Poon-Tang, you are not disgusted. Winner: Poon-Tang
Twenty-four Beers come in a box. Poon-Tang is a box you can come in. Winner: Poon-Tang
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Winner: Poon-Tang
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Winner: Beer
If you come home smelling like Beer, your lady may get mad. If you come home smelling like Poon-Tang, she will definitely get mad. Winner: Beer
Six Beers in a night and you better not drive. Six Poon-Tangs in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Winner: Poon-Tang
Buy too much Beer and you will get fat. Buy too much Poon-Tang and you will get poor. Winner: None
It is socially acceptable to have a Beer in the stands at a football game. Getting Poon-Tang in the stands at a football game makes you a legend. Winner: Poon-Tang
If a cop smells Beer on your breath, you get a arrested.. If a cop smells Poon-Tang on your breath, you get a high-five. Winner: Poon-Tang
With Beer, bigger is better. Winner: Beer
Wearing a condom does not make Beer any less enjoyable. Winner: Beer
Poon-Tang makes you see God. Beer makes you see the porcelain God. Winner: Poon-Tang
If you think all day about your next Poon-Tang you are normal. If you think all day about your next Beer you are an alcoholic. Winner: Poon-Tang
Peeling labels off of Beers is fun. Peeling panties off of Poon-Tang is more fun. Winner: Poon-Tang
Snagging Beer at work gets you fired. Snagging Poon-Tang at work gets you charged with sexual harassment. Winner: None
If you drop a Beer it breaks. If you drop Poon-Tang, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Winner: Beer
If you change to another Beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Winner: Beer
The best Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Winner: Poon-Tang.
The worst Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Winner: Beer
Bad Beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad Poon-Tang: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. Winner: None
Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red Good Poon-Tang: Almost all but the above. Winner: Poon-Tang
The government taxes Beer. Woman tax their Poon. Winner: None
Too much Beer results in a headache. Too much Poon-Tang results in a Willie-ache, but that's a good kind of ache! Winner: Poon-Tang
Grab the wrong Beer and your drinking buddy gets pissed. Grab the wrong Poon-Tang and her boyfriend kicks your ass! Winner: Beer
Beer=10 Poon-Tang=13
The numbers never lie. The winner is Poon-Tang!
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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