Some of these are old, some are new. You sort them out. IIFID Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: What did the gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley? A: You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? A: Made her chain too long.
Q: How is a woman like a condom? A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your tallywacker.
Q: What is the difference between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike? A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love? A: "Honey, I'm home."
Q: When is a pixie not a pixie? A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, ******* ? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job.
Q: If tennis players get tennis elbow, what do gynecologists get? A: Tunnel vision.
Q: What do they call kids born in whorehouses? A: Brothel sprouts.
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They're both meat substitutes.
Q: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony? A: The guy who can carry two pitchers of beer and a foot of onion rings!
Q: Who is the most popular girl in a nudist colony? A: The girl who can eat the last onion ring.
Q: How do you recognize a blind man in a nudist colony? A: Its not hard.
Q: What do you call a homosexual dinosaur? A: A Megasorarse!
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A: A Lickalotapuss!
Q: What do you call a rabbit with a bent tallywacker? A: Fugs Funny!
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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