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Re: irishman
      02/28/06 02:33 PM

Real ads from Scottish lonely-hearts columns
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Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble s*xpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.
Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
Box06/03

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous s*x addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning.
Box 73/82.

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by long-time fianc? seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced b*tches.
Box 53/41

Ginger-haired Partick troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
Box84/87

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes,seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.
Strong stomach essential.
Box 12/32

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions.
References required. No timewasters.
Box 23/45

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old b*stard living in a damp cottage in the ar*e end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big ch*st.
Box 40/27

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
Box 52/07

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Framptons Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please!
Box 30/41

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Subject Posted by Posted on
* irishman STTH 01/28/06 06:19 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/04/06 03:53 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/28/06 02:56 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   05/08/06 03:10 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   06/03/06 06:18 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   08/12/06 02:01 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/26/06 03:36 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   04/08/06 09:41 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   04/08/06 09:57 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   04/12/06 01:02 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   04/19/06 01:11 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/28/06 02:58 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/06/06 01:43 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/06/06 01:54 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/15/06 12:48 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/16/06 05:50 AM
. * * Re: irishman MB2   03/17/06 10:46 AM
. * * Re: irishman sptsman   03/17/06 11:33 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/05/06 06:33 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/06/06 06:56 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/06/06 06:57 PM
. * * Re: irishman IIFID   02/07/06 12:34 PM
. * * Re: irishman IIFID   02/07/06 12:34 PM
. * * Re: irishman IIFID   02/07/06 12:35 PM
. * * Re: irishman IIFID   02/07/06 12:35 PM
. * * Re: irishman IIFID   02/07/06 12:36 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/11/06 10:35 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/20/06 12:19 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/22/06 08:36 PM
. * * Re: irishman Mel   02/22/06 10:54 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/28/06 02:33 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   08/11/06 02:19 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   12/25/06 06:43 PM
. * * Re: irishman Mel   12/25/06 07:01 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/24/07 01:38 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   02/24/07 07:52 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/13/07 08:25 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/16/07 08:20 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/25/07 07:28 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/25/07 07:29 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/26/07 01:54 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   05/06/07 01:54 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   05/08/07 01:09 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   05/08/07 01:26 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   08/09/07 01:33 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/10/08 03:21 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/14/09 11:22 PM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/17/09 12:54 AM
. * * Re: irishman SwampFoxModerator   03/09/11 12:40 PM
. * * Twitchet Ozark   03/09/11 03:34 PM
. * * Re: Twitchet cook   03/09/11 04:01 PM
. * * Re: Twitchet SwampFoxModerator   03/09/11 04:08 PM
. * * Re: Twitchet Burrhead   03/15/11 04:47 AM
. * * Re: Twitchet cook   03/15/11 05:21 AM
. * * Re: Twitchet SwampFoxModerator   03/13/13 01:43 PM
. * * Re: Twitchet Bubba   03/13/13 06:19 PM
. * * Re: Twitchet SwampFoxModerator   03/16/13 09:00 AM
. * * Re: Twitchet SwampFoxModerator   03/17/13 02:29 PM
. * * Re: Twitchet Bubba   03/17/13 02:59 PM
. * * Re: Twitchet SwampFoxModerator   02/23/15 10:54 AM
. * * Airplane Drink Mel   02/26/15 02:17 PM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/17/15 12:32 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/17/15 12:42 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink wuchangAdministrator   03/17/15 04:57 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/17/15 06:26 AM
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. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/12/18 07:09 PM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   02/02/19 12:19 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/08/19 07:24 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink wuchangAdministrator   03/08/19 09:06 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/11/19 06:22 PM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/12/19 05:56 PM
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. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   04/21/19 10:21 AM
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. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   06/19/19 08:48 PM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   07/25/19 11:25 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/06/20 05:34 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   05/15/20 09:29 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/05/21 10:25 AM
. * * Re: Airplane Drink SwampFoxModerator   03/05/21 03:48 PM
. * * irish SwampFoxModerator   03/14/21 02:01 PM
. * * Re: irish 67Firebird   06/01/21 10:21 PM

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