One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over 10 years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Ten years," replies the Scot. With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Achh, that is splendid!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good malt scotch?" she purrs. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Oh by God, it's absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wetsuit. She looks at the man and asks huskily, "And how long has it been since you've played around? With tears in his eyes, the big Scot falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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