Sorry to hear of your loss John. If he was a good father and husband, count your blessings for having him around all those years.
Here is a little piece by Jelalludin Rumi (I know, I know, what kinda geek reads 13th century poetry? I hope this doesn't get me banned...) that you might take something from. After what you've been through in the last year, I couldn't help but thinking of this for you:
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice. meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes. because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
As crappy as it all seems, trust "each has been sent as a guide from beyond."
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers...
-------------------- "Hunts are best measured by the endurance of the memories they produce..."